Are you reliable? Many of you probably answered yes. And you answered that way because...
You always meet deadlines at work.
You volunteer to step up when someone is needed.
You serve on the committees.
You can be counted on to show for girls' nights, book club, and team-building events.
Sound about right? By most people's standards that means you are, in fact, reliable.
But what about the commitments you make to yourself?
I'm talking about the things that no one else is depending on you to do. Things like...
Waking up an hour earlier to work-out/meditate/read.
Putting the phone down and going to bed at a decent hour.
Cleaning out your closet.
Taking a class or learning a new skill.
Looking for a new job.
When you tell yourself you're going to do those things do they get done? Why not?
How many of you answered, "not enough time"?
Having enough time means doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it.
Let's look at a couple of examples. If you tell yourself that you're going to wake up an hour earlier and use that time to work-out, you've already identified that you have time. The only thing keeping you from doing it is ignoring the commitment you made to yourself to get up earlier. If you get up an hour earlier you have the time to work-out.
Now let's talk about looking for a new job. If you say to yourself that you're going to find a new job in 2021, one is most likely not going to arrive on your doorstep wrapped up in a pretty bow. You'll need to put some effort into it like updating your resume, searching for jobs, applying for jobs, attending networking events, etc. If you don't honor the commitment you made to yourself to find a new job, you'll get to the end of the year still working in the same place and telling yourself you didn't have time.
But that would be a lie. If you'd been reliable you would have scheduled the time do all of the things. And then showed up to do them. If you have a work project deadline you schedule meetings, carve out time in your day to work on it and do whatever else is necessary to get it done on time. You can do the same thing for your personal commitments. Most of us just don't.
And that, my friends, is why we stay stuck.
Not doing what we tell ourselves we will do comes from:
Confusion - not trusting that we know what to do
Doubt - not believing that we are capable of doing what we say
Self-pity - blaming anyone and everything for why we're stuck
Fear - of failure and sometimes of succeeding
You don't need to get rid of those feelings entirely but you do need to be willing.
Willing to feel those feelings and show up reliably for yourself anyway.
Willing to put commitments to yourself on your calendar and then do them at that time.
Willing to hold yourself accountable to your deadlines.
I teach my clients to use mini-commitments. That helps manage some of the fear, doubt and confusion. So instead of telling yourself you need to update your resume, apply for 50 jobs and reach out to everyone in your network, tell yourself that you'll have your resume updated by next Friday. Then schedule the time on your calendar so you can meet that deadline. Once you get that done set the next mini-commitment. Perhaps attending one networking event per week for the next 4 weeks.
Mini-commitments help us focus only on the next step. Instead of focusing on finding a new job in the next four months, you only have to find time in the next nine days to update your resume. Totally doable!
Get more strategies like this in my free training Get Unstuck in 3 Steps!
This three-part video training will be delivered straight to you inbox. The videos are short so you can easily fit them into your day. They explain why you're stuck, how to overcome the indecision and fear plus what to do next. I don't want you to stay stuck one second longer!
I’m a life coach helping women get unstuck so they can live the life they want and I have one on one coaching spots available.
What is a life coach? ✨Someone who holds a judgment-free space for you to share your thoughts and feelings. ✨Someone who provides you with a neutral, objective perspective. ✨Someone who believes you can get the results you want and will support you every step of the way. ✨Someone who challenges you to level-up and be the best version yourself. ✨Someone who may say things you won't want to hear, but always says them with love. ✨An investment in yourself that you deserve.