When you're feeling stuck it can seem like you are living inside Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. On repeat. You wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead and you spend the evening complaining about that day and dreading the next.
Often this cycle is also self-perpetuating. When we expect to have a bad day we usually do. When we go to work believing that our job is the absolute worst all we see all day is proof that we're right. So our brains gloss over the parts that aren't so terrible or maybe even (gasp) pretty good.
Until we accept the true reality of our current situation, we won't be able to get unstuck.
We all know people who had the same job for years and years. They were miserable and hated their job. Then they finally, finally left and started a new job. But instead of loving it, they didn't like that one either so they left and started a new job. Again and Again. They went from having one job for 10 years to having 4 or 5 jobs in the last two years.
Want to know why?
They hadn't accepted the true reality of their long-term job. They were living in the terrible, horrible day over and over only focused on the things they didn't like. They forgot that the human experience is 50/50. They started believing that their job was 100% terrible and that the perfect new job would be 100% amazing and solve all of their problems. When that didn't happen they kept searching for it in one job after the other.
The only way to get unstuck is to see both the positive and the negative of where you are right now.
I can feel some of you jumping out of your skin ready to disagree with me. Yes, there may be some terrible, horrible things about where you are right now. Maybe you're subjected to misogyny or harassment. Maybe you've hit a glass ceiling thicker than the ice in the Antarctic. Maybe you haven't had a raise since W. was president.
Those things can be true AND there can still be some positives. Do you have a coworker who makes you laugh so hard you can't breathe? Do you get 6 weeks of vacation? Do you have perks like a gym membership? Are the bathrooms clean? Sit down and make yourself list the positives. Come up with 5. Then try for 5 more.
But don't use those positives against yourself!
The point of this exercise isn't to convince yourself that because your current situation isn't all bad, that you should just suck it up and stay. You can see the positive and still feel stuck. But being able to see the positives allows you the mental clarity necessary to make decisions about your next steps.
Think about it this way... would you rather go for a run because it's a nice day and you want some exercise or because you're being chased by a serial killer?
Leaving a job because you think everything about it is terrible is like going for a run because you're being chased. You're reacting from your most primitive instincts. Great when you could actually be murdered, not great when planning your career moves. It just means you'll still feel stuck but with new surroundings.
Accepting the full spectrum of where you are- both positive and negative- allows you to respond to feeling stuck from a calm, thoughtful place. You're not running for your life. You're checking out the scenery and deciding on the best place to turn.
Learn more about making decisions from a rational not reactive frame of mind in my free training Get Unstuck in 3 Steps!
This three-part video training will be delivered straight to you inbox. The videos are short so you can easily fit them into your day. They explain why you're stuck, how to overcome the indecision and fear plus what to do next. I don't want you to stay stuck one second longer!
I’m a life coach helping women get unstuck so they can live the life they want and I have one on one coaching spots available.
What is a life coach? ✨Someone who holds a judgment-free space for you to share your thoughts and feelings. ✨Someone who provides you with a neutral, objective perspective. ✨Someone who believes you can get the results you want and will support you every step of the way. ✨Someone who challenges you to level-up and be the best version yourself. ✨Someone who may say things you won't want to hear, but always says them with love. ✨An investment in yourself that you deserve.