How to Say No

When someone asks you to do something and you don't want to do it, how do you say no?

The answer is really simple. You say "no".

That's all there is to it.

Even though it's simple, for most of you, and for women in general, it's not easy.

Because you think you need to give a reason. And not just any reason, but a good reason.

So instead of saying no and leaving it at that, you try to come up with a story you think the other person will find acceptable.

It's the end of the school year and the kids have so many things going on, I can't add one more right now.

I'm completely swamped at work. Bob quit so I'm doing his job and mine plus I'm traveling almost every week so I probably won't be able to help.

I had 237 things on my calendar today, I have a migraine and I think my dog is sick so I can't make it tonight.

You've been conditioned to think whether or not you want to do something is irrelevant.

When in reality, "I don't want to" is the only reason you ever need in order to say no.

And you don't owe anyone an explanation.

I was invited to an event next week and I don't want to go. That's my only reason for not going. When I RSVPed I said "No, but thank you for the invite".

No reason. No explanation. Because it isn't necessary.

I challenge you to do the same thing.

If you don't want to do something or go somewhere, say no.

Clearly, succinctly and without justifying it.

Each time you do it, it will get a little bit easier. And chip away at the layers of patriarchal conditioning that have taught you what you want doesn't matter.