Are You Reliable?

Are you reliable? Many of you probably answered yes. And you answered that way because...

You always meet deadlines at work.

You volunteer to step up when someone is needed.

You serve on the committees.

You can be counted on to show for girls' nights, book club, and team-building events.

Sound about right? By most people's standards it means you are, in fact, reliable.

But what about the commitments you make to yourself?

I'm talking about the things no one else is depending on you to do. Things like...

Waking up an hour earlier to work-out/meditate/read.

Putting the phone down and going to bed at a decent hour.

Cleaning out your closet.

Taking a class or learning a new skill.

When you tell yourself you're going to do those things do they get done? Why not?

How many of you answered, "not enough time"?

Having enough time means doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it.

For example, if you tell yourself you're going to wake up an hour earlier and use the time to work-out, you've already identified you have time. The only thing keeping you from doing it is ignoring the commitment you made to yourself to get up earlier. If you get up an hour earlier you have the time to work-out.

But if you don't honor the commitment you made to yourself, months will go by with no workouts and you’ll by telling yourself you didn't have time.

But it would be a lie. Think about it. If you have a work project deadline you schedule meetings, carve out time in your day to work on it and do whatever else is necessary to get it done on time. You can do the same thing for your personal commitments. Most of us just don't.

Not doing what we tell ourselves we will do comes from:

• Confusion - not knowing exactly what we want or will make us feel better

• Doubt - not believing it’s possible or “allowed”

• Self-pity - blaming other people and our circumstances for why we can’t

• Fear - of failure or it won’t meet our expectations

You don't need to get rid of those feelings entirely but you do need to be willing.

Willing to feel those feelings and show up reliably for yourself anyway.

Willing to put commitments to yourself on your calendar and then do them at that time.

Willing to place the same value on the promises you make to yourself as those you make to others.

I teach my clients to use mini-commitments. Which helps manage some of the fear, doubt and confusion. So instead of telling yourself you need to get up an hour early every day for the rest of the year, try it three times in the next week. Then evaluate to see if it’s working for you and make the next mini-commitment.