You Don’t Have To

How often do you tell yourself you have to do something? 

My clients tell me things like...

It has to get done.

If I don’t do it no one else will.

Someone has to take care of it.

Sound familiar?

But you don’t have to. You always have a choice. Every time. In every situation.

Today I coached a client about all of the things on her to do list. One of them was to get her tax information together to send to her accountant. She said, "I'm the only one who's going to do it and it has to get done".

Except it doesn't. There are lots of people who don't pay their taxes. And yes, there are consequences for them if the IRS finds out, but there are still people who choose to take thet risk.

When you reframe what you do as a choice, you realize how much control you actually have in your life.

My client is choosing to abide by the law and file her taxes on time. But after we talked about it she realized she could choose not to file them. Or she could choose to ask for an extension. She has options.

When you believe you have to do something, it takes away your ability to look for other options. It also makes you feel out of control and powerless.

Try reframing every "have to" in your life as a choice. For each one, ask yourself if you want to continue to choose it.

If the answer is no, what do you want to choose instead? Why aren't you making that choice?