What Stories Are You Telling?

So much of what holds you back is fear of what other people think. When it comes to trying a class at the gym, wearing bright lipstick, asking for a raise or anything else that feels like a stretch, you make up all kinds of stories about what other people will say and think.

And because your brain is hardwired to keep you safe, the scary stories you're making up feel very true. Which makes it hard to recognize they're just something you're making up.

Which is why one of my favorite questions to ask my clients is - If you’re going to make up stories, why make up bad ones?

If you’re going to make sh!t up, make it good. Instead of imagining the worst case scenario, tell yourself stories about how other people will celebrate you and be inspired by you. Not how they’ll judge and condemn you.

Here's a personal example - As I write this, I'm working at a coffee shop and the location of my table means the people behind me can see my computer screen. Because I was planning to be on Canva and Instagram I found myself worrying what these strangers would think. In my mind, they were going to judge me for not doing "serious" work.

I was tempted to abandon my plan for the afternoon in an effort to appear like I was doing real work (whatever that means). But then I reminded myself I was just making up a story. So I made up a good one instead.

I decided to believe they would think it was awesome I have the kind of life/job whereI can work from a coffee shop having fun on social media while wearing sequins.

That story felt so much better and meant I did what I wanted to do this afternoon, not what I thought someone else expected.