You Know the Truth

Last week I was in a situation where a man told me something about me I knew wasn't true.

But even though I knew it wasn't true, I felt the doubt creeping in.

So instead of moving on and giving his statement the amount of attention it deserved - zero - I spent my precious time and energy proving to myself he was wrong.

In other words, I let a man who doesn't like me at all, and who I have no respect for, make me doubt something about my own life.

That is patriarchal conditioning.

Conditioning has taught us if someone else, especially a man, tells us we're wrong in some way we probably are. As a result we've internalized self-doubt and insecurity because we've been told someone else knows better than we do.

In my case, the situation was also money-related so I was in the middle of a one-two punch of what the patriarchy wants us to believe.

Guess who wins when women believe they are bad with money and make poor decisions?

Spoiler alert: It's not the women.

If you find yourself doing the same thing I did, believe me when I say it's not your fault. It's a result of being surrounded by a system that wants us to be this way.

You can't change other people. The men who benefit from the system have no incentive to change so they won't.

But you can change how it affects you.

First, notice when you're letting other people's statements or opinions about you hold more weight than what you know to be true about yourself.

Second, remind yourself what is true about you. Based on what you know and believe, not anyone else. Make a list right now of everything you know about yourself. Keep it handy so you can refer to it when the doubt creeps in.

Third, remember you never have to spend time or energy proving yourself to someone who wants you to feel insecure and doubt yourself. Instead, tell yourself (and them if you want), "That's not true".

And then go back to being the powerful goddess you're designed to be.