Stop Dismissing Yourself

I recently participated in a Day of the Dead 5k with some friends.

When my friend invited me to join in, I said yes for two reasons. The first and most obvious was to dress up for Day of the Dead. The second was to do something fun and different with a few girlfriends that gave us an excuse for brunch and cocktails.

I was a runner for many years and have run in countless races from 5ks to Half Marathons. But an autoimmune condition and an ankle injury now make running too painful to be worth it now. My intention from the outset for this 5k was to walk.

But once I was there actually doing it, I noticed I was being mean and dismissive to myself.

When people along the course cheered and clapped I thought, "That's not for me. I'm just walking."

When I finished and was handed a (very cool) medal I thought, "Why am I getting a medal? All I did was walk."

Then I realized some of the people around me were taking selfies and celebrating as they crossed the finish line and got their medals. At the exact same time as me.

They weren't dismissing themselves and what they'd just done. So why was I?

Can you relate? The mean and dismissive thoughts about yourself can be so pervasive and habitual you don't even notice you're doing it. Or realize there's another, kinder option available.

It's time to stop letting your inner mean girl run the show.

Start by noticing how you're talking to and about yourself throughout the day.

When you find yourself being dismissive or mean, question why.

In my case, I was carrying the belief I should be running the race or it only counted if I ran. Even though it had nothing to do with why I was participating. And as a result, I was ignoring the fact that I had gotten up really early on a cold Saturday, decorated my face and walked 3.1 miles before the time I would usually wake up.

Once I discovered the why, I realized I didn't agree with it. Which made it easier to shift the way I was talking to myself and celebrate what I had done.

Then make a point of saying something nice to yourself with respect, gratitude, thanks, or recognition.

It shifts the conversation within you from "You're not good enough. Why can't you do better?" to "Look what you just did. Let's see what else you can do."