Last week I was in a situation where a man told me something about me that I knew wasn't true.
But even though I knew it wasn't true, I felt the doubt creeping in.
So instead of moving on and giving his statement the amount of attention it deserved - zero - I spent my precious time and energy proving to myself that he was wrong.
In other words, I let a man who doesn't like me at all, and who I have no respect for, make me doubt something about my own life.
That is patriarchal conditioning.
Conditioning has taught us that if someone else, especially a man, tells us we're wrong in some way we probably are. As a result we've internalized self-doubt and insecurity because we've been told someone else knows better than we do.
In my case, the situation was also money-related so I was in the middle of a one-two punch of what the patriarchy wants us to believe.
Guess who wins when women believe they are bad with money and make poor decisions?
Spoiler alert: It's not the women.
If you find yourself doing the same thing I did, believe me when I say it's not your fault. It's a result of being surrounded by a system that wants us to be this way.
You can't change other people. The men that benefit from the system have no incentive to change so they won't.
But you can change how it affects you.
First, notice when you're letting other people's statements or opinions about you hold more weight that what you know to be true about yourself.
Second, remind yourself what is true about you. Based on what you know and believe, not anyone else. Make a list right now of everything you know about yourself. Keep it handy so you can refer to it when the doubt creeps in.
Third, remember you never have to spend time or energy proving yourself to someone that wants you to feel insecure and doubt yourself. Instead, tell yourself (and them if you want), "That's not true".
And then go back to being the powerful goddess you're designed to be.
One of my superpowers as a coach is helping women release the conditioning and decide for themselves what they believe. We use Human Design to see where you are more susceptible to self-doubt and insecurity and then create strategies specific for you to leave that in your rearview mirror. Then we sprinkle in some witchy magic to bring it all together.
Schedule a consult to get started so we decide if it makes sense for us to work together.
During the consult we'll talk about what you're looking for and what's missing. I'll lay out a process to help you get there. And then we'll decide if we want to move forward. Either way, you'll get info about your chart and some strategies you can implement right away.