Emergency Exits
- Amanda Stark
- Oct 27, 2021
- 3 min read
It's Halloween week so I've got spooky things on my brain.
I actually hate haunted houses. Maybe it's my true crime obsession, but I don't find walking in the dark feeling like I'm going to die particularly fun. But when I was younger and still had some people-pleasing tendencies, I would let myself be talked into going.
More than once I used an emergency exit and left before I made it all the way through. I was scared and was looking for a way out. Every room had an emergency exit offering me the option to leave so sometimes I took it.
This weekend my daughter is going to Fright Fest at Six Flags with some friends. She loves roller coasters. Everyone in my family does so I've been on more coasters than I can count. As I've gotten older I've found myself paying more attention to safety protocols in the station and triple checking that the harnesses and seatbelts are working before we take off. (I also sometimes insist on holding on to my kids when they sit next to me to keep them safer. They love it as I'm sure you can imagine!)
But once we start going I always have fun. And even though I know there are ladders and walkways as emergency exits, I never notice them. I'm way too busy having fun and screaming to embarrass my kids.
The difference for me between haunted houses and roller coasters is that I've decided one is fun so I'm focused on what I'm doing. And I've decided the other is awful so I'm focused on finding a way out.
Life is like that too. You enjoy some parts and dread other parts. But what you focus on is what you notice. If you're looking for a way out that's what you'll find. If you decide to enjoy the ride the chances to quit will fly right by.
We can commit to seeing it through and not give up.
One way to do that is by celebrating what works. Even when it seems like there's nothing to celebrate.
Let's say you're looking for a new job and responding to posting on LinkedIn. What if you applied to 20 jobs, 4 places asked you for more information, 2 scheduled interviews with you and no one offered you a job? Your brain is going to want to say that job searching is hopeless, you'll never find a new job and take the emergency exit. In other words, you've failed.
Instead you can look for reasons to celebrate.
And there are plenty. Four companies liked your resume enough to advance you to the next step. Two companies thought you were qualified enough to get an interview.
When you decide to take the emergency exit and give up, even if you eventually try again, you'll be looking for ways why it won't work this time around either. But if you celebrate what went well, you'll keep trying and finding ways to do even better next time.
When you train your brain to celebrate it will keep looking for more reasons to celebrate. That's how you find opportunities and make big things happen.
This is an example of one of the things I do with my clients. It helps them try new things, take advantage of opportunities, and stop holding themselves back. Working with me means you don’t have to train your brain alone. You’ll have me there to offer you perspective on what’s keeping you from seeing those opportunities and celebrating. And I teach you the tools to do it yourself.
I have spots open. Is one of them yours?
What do you get when you work with a life coach? ✨A judgment- free space devoted to you and your goals. ✨Strategies for creating and getting the life you want. ✨Honest, objective perspective on what's keeping you stuck. ✨The opportunity to make decisions based on possibility not discontent.
I’m a certified life coach helping women do the things they think they can't and see opportunities instead of obstacles. I have one on one coaching spots available.
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